THIS IS MY STORY!! MY DIAGNOSIS!! JUST MY LUCK!!!!!!!
I had a lump, a VERY VERY SMALL LUMP! Id been to the doctors twice once where I used to live and once when I moved in july 2008. Neither had seemed particularly cncerned with it..in both their opinions the lump was as small as a petite pois and it moved so they both thought it was a cyst… When I moved to the new start I had been longing to have with my son further down cornwall…we spent long hours trying to get this beautiful cottage looking absolutely fab inside and out. My son had started a specal needs senior school and was thriving so much even within his first few weeks I knew I had made the right decision to move away from family and friends…but..my lump was still there. I went with my son to get it checked out again. Him being him was a bit embarrassed and tried to preoccupy himself with the drs pens on his desk but still he wanted to know why I was worried.I did explain as much as I could but bless him with his lack of understanding I was ok. I was not poorly. In my eyes I agree..I wasn’tpoorly..in fact I was feeling the best I ever could..New Life/New Home/New beginning and feeling the most contented I had felt in years with the fact that I actually belonged somewhere and my son and I were enjoing life to the full..everything just felt so so right it was untrue. I had waited so so long for this moment to happen and my life was beginning again at long last!
An appointment came through….mermaid clinic in truro! I had tried to block out my concerns neither Dr worried it would be nothing! I went alone!!! HUGE MISTAKE!! I got J ready for school and packed him off with his usual smile and loving hug…he knew I was going hospital but reassured me that I was well and Dr’s would agree! I did -I must admit having a tear in my eye when he said these words..he did surprise me at his grown up attitude even though he was naive due to disability he was so clued on to emotions. I Then got in the car and made my way to hospital music as load as I possibly could to drum away any niggly thoughts that might come into my head… People must have thought me mad singing away as I was driving with such umph!! I certainly brought a few smiles at stops and traffic lights but I didnt care!
Once at hospital I walked into the waiting room- such an array of people young old/poor/rich male and female..surely they all cannot be here for the same reason.. I tried to relax but my name was suddenly called..God this is it!!! Smile head high I followed the nurse..
Biopsy after biopsy..ultra scan/mammogram!!!!!!After about 4 hours of tests x rays etc… the horrible horrible wait..something nobody tells u about prior to the visit…. I would know in the next 50Min’s the results!! I do remember thinking god what am i doing here alone!!! everyone else had partners/family or friends with them and then there was little old me! the youngest in the building wearing a smile and still cracking jokes right up to the time they called my name again!
Shit-it was my turn… I had to then sit alone in a waiting room until the consultant came in this was the longest moment in my life..I have absolutely no recallection as to how long I waited but it seemed like eternity..